IN LOVING MEMORY: NAYEREH KOUJANI.

My grandmother went to be with Jesus this past Monday evening, June 23. As a believer & follower of Jesus, death is truly a bittersweet feeling. I believe & know she's at peace & celebrating her eternal life if heaven, {if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved // Romans 10:9} a place prepared for her once she accepted Jesus as her Savior {In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also // John 14:2-3}. It brings me comfort when I continue to remind myself that she is no longer suffering from her medical challenges, yet it is impossible not to grieve or refuse to absorb the fact that she truly has left this earth. In the midst of this, one cannot help but start to recollect the last few moments of time spent together. Did she know how much I loved her? How beautiful I thought she was? How much I respected her strength & the sacrifices she made as a young mother for her family? My heart quickly became heavy.

I have always felt convicted of not building a solid Persian vocabulary; something that I feared brought separation between me & my relatives, particularly all three of my living grandparents at the time. It bothered me that my knowledge of Farsi was so shallow, & I couldn't express anything more than a "hello, how are you, what did you do today" conversation. My heart grew heavier & heavier as I ran these thoughts repeatedly through my mind; it broke me down hard, wishing I had the ability to have a deeper conversations with her about life, love, my failures & successes. It took me a few nights of tears & encouragement from my husband Clint to finally realize that I needed to go before God & seek His ultimate comfort {Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus // Philippians 4:6-7}. In His presence is where I was reminded of how much God loves us unconditionally {Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things // 1 Corinthians 13:7} As believers, we need to reflect the character of Jesus. If Jesus loves us unconditionally, we must love one another unconditionally. Then it finally clicked. My grandmother loved me, her children, her husband, her son-in-laws, her children's children unconditionally. Unconditionally. Our language barrier suddenly became immaterial. My heart felt lighter & even closer to my sweet grandma. I am so blessed to be a part of this family she raised, & the same strength she carried out until the very end, I know I have in me. & for that, I am joyful.

Maman Ezat, you made such a positive impact in your family's lives. The perseverance you showed through the medical battles you faced for over 40 years, the difficult decision & sacrifice you made to send your young children to the US for a better quality of life, the ability to face & accept the fact that you tragically lost your 20 year-old son thousands of miles away from home are just a few of the numerous things you had conquered. Your relationship with Jesus remained steady, & I am so envious that He is walking with you now. I love you, & I promise that my children & my children's children & their children will know where they came from & that they carry such beautiful qualities, inside & out.